The opposite of selfless is not selfish- its deselfing. That is, to completely and entirely abolish your own needs, wants and desires in fear of disapproval and rejection from others.
Harriet Learner describes the concept of deselfing in her book, The Anger Dance and I think its absolutely genius...
I get a lot of PMs and requests in the group to give relationship advice. As in- adult relationships.
I try to resist as much as I can.
It's because I frankly haven't figured out how to make a relationship work one-way.
Read that carefully... I said I don't know how to MAKE a relationship...
“Mama! SHOW ME HOW TO WRITE 9!”
Said, 4yo Muhammad as we sat in the car to go somewhere. He had to yell because I was distracted and didn’t respond to him the first three times he asked me the same question.
I had to trace 9 with my finger on his brother’s back to show...
Parents of preschoolers (ages 5 and less): Many people are busting out with fancy workbooks and flash cards and whatnots for their young kids.
If you’re here, consider yourself released from the pressure of following this trend.
Unlike popular opinion- early start in academics does more...
Eisa is 6.5 years old and in Kindergarten. He was in a play-based preschool and pre-K so his transition to KG was tough. He didn’t want to do homework or take tests. The kid who’d jump out of bed to go to school, started dreading it! What to do?!
Thanks to my education in early...
Some of you might remember, I mentioned moving into a new house a few weeks ago.
It’s one of THE most amazing blessings for me الحمدللہ because I can’t tell you how much and how long I wanted a bigger place!
We bought our old house when we had no kids and didn’t know if we ever...
“Respectful parenting” is a very specific term.
The truest definition for it would be to say that it’s about respecting the child’s brain development and respecting their autonomy.
It’s really not so much about being “polite”.
I mean it’s nice to be...
Go from “saying” to “doing”
If we’re saying the same thing many times and the child is not listening that means it’s silly to keep saying the same thing and expect different results. We as adults, can make a different choice instead of expecting children to...
For a lot of parents, slowing down with their child seems like a lot to ask. They feel like they have too much going on to pause for their child's emotions, to mediate the fights between siblings and to problem-solve trouble areas rather than issuing commands.
I get it. I've never met a parent...
What kids are NOT:
1- Something to mould.
2- Something to polish.
3- Something to be fixed
4- Our possessions.
5- Our vehicles to prove something to the world
6- Our projects
7- Our trophies/pride/honor
8- An extension of ourselves
9- A part of ourselves
10- Simple creatures to be programmed with...