As someone who gives advice as a living, I have learned a few things about advice-giving in general, whether we’re talking to kids or adults:
1- Most of the time (99%), no one is really looking for advice when they share hard stuff or when hard stuff is happening.. they’re just...
Can I tell you what the number one cause of consistent bad behaviors is?
Whether it’s your toddler’s perpetual hitting or your tween’s huge tantrums or your teen’s utter defiance... the underlying reason is always the same.
In fact, this applies to yourself too. And...
Eisa: “Mama, I think I love Jannah more than she loves me.”
Me: “Yeah?”
Eisa: “Yeah. It makes me sad.”
Me: “That makes sense. I totally get it.”
Eisa: “You do?”
Me: “Yes. I always felt that way about people I love. That I love them...
Why is this a part of healing ourselves? Because toxic people are soul-suckers. They take up our precious energy and trap us in a never-ending and doomed-to-fail cycle of trying to please them.
If we don’t learn to deal with them, we will spend our entire lives in a rat wheel, getting no...
1- Pray (or make an intention)
Someone told me a long time ago to make dua (pray) that I can see my own shortcomings. It's truly an amazing dua... I'm SO grateful to Allah for showing me a mirror and showing me where I need to grow as a person. This kind of self-awareness is...
Now how to apply the knowledge in parts 1 and 2 so we can train our brains not to react to our kids with sudden anger? How to change our “anger habit"?
I call it a habit because habit is a technical word that has three clear components according to author Charles Duhigg (The Power of Habit:...
When your child is having big feelings; anger, sadness, disappointment, frustration or even excitement ("hyperactivity"). What's really happening is that it's like they have a storm inside.
Or in other words, their brain is experiencing some kind of stress response ("fight or flight").
Their...
When I was a teenager, I absolutely LOVED junk fiction. When I was younger I used to frequently read classics but once I got older, me and my friends were obsessed with these books.
Sweet Valley Twins/High/University
Judith McKnaught
Sidney Sheldon
Danielle Steele
I fantasized about having a...
No matter what we're trying to accomplish... whether its becoming a respectful parent or become a better Muslim or be healthier or improve our marriage... we're going to have to do something we've never done before.
This might mean starting with naming our emotions every time we're dysregulated...
Sometimes it gets lost in all the literature that I’m very very far from being a “perfect parent”. I mean, sure... no one is perfect and all that but I feel like it’s important to say that I’m just like all of you.
Always learning, stumbling, falling, getting up...